![]() ![]() ![]() It the extremes are not too severe, good communication skills can bring compromise and a healthy balance. Of course, if one spouse is high on the spendthrift scale and the other tends toward being a miser, the probability of tension and conflict over money is obvious. Rockefeller said when asked how much money it takes to be really satisfied, “Just a little bit more!” If both spouses are spendthrifts the likelihood is that they will face issues of debt management – even if they have a high income – because desires tend to increase just a little beyond our incomes. One of the first things couples need to notice about each is their “spending personalities.” Is one thrifty and the other a spendthrift? If these traits are deep-rooted and significantly different, they can cause major tension and conflict. The reason is that the couple expects that their lifestyle will bring them happiness, rather than finding happiness in each other. Rather, couples need to improve communication skills so they can talk about their different ways of spending money and the different values that may underlie their financial decisions.Ĭarroll’s study found that when at least one spouse is highly materialistic, couples are 40 percent more likely to have financial problems that put a strain on their marriage, regardless of income level. Money may be the presenting problem that gets a couple to counseling, but the solution is not just to make more money. ![]() One of the first things couples need to notice about each is their “spending personalities.” According to Carroll, the study showed that “financial problems are as much a result of how we think about money as how we spend it.” A study by Jason Carroll of Brigham Young University looked at 600 couples from across the nation from various ethnic, religious and economic backgrounds. You will need much self-discipline, however, to keep strained finances from starting quarrels and poisoning your relationship.įinancial counselors often point to finances as the most common cause of divorce. What if you’re not in the enviable position of being financially stable? What if one of you still has student loans or credit card debt to pay off? Mixing debts and uncertain jobs makes marriage even more fragile. One person’s necessity is another’s luxury. Then the primary wage earner sees the other spending his or her hard-earned cash on something like a $50 hair cut or a round of drinks at the club. You may agree that it’s fine if one spouse makes more money than the other. Old memories from our family of origin start to replay in our heads. But weird things can happen when money is merged. You certainly don’t see each other as people who will dictate how much money can be spent on a cup of coffee. The two of you might have every intention of sharing incomes completely. But having enough money for a comfortable lifestyle is not all that finances in marriage is about. You’ve finished your education, have been employed for several years, maybe even have some savings or own a house. Perhaps you are approaching marriage on a sound financial footing. ![]()
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